Holding Space
Holding space is one of the most precious gifts you can offer another person. It’s the backbone of long-lasting friendships, the key to romantic relationships, the mark of a great leader, and more.
In this blog I will speak about holding space in the context of the student and teacher dynamic. Primarily for simplicity’s sake, but also because we are all students and teachers in one way or another. If you’re reading this and do not resonate with calling your patient or client a student, that’s okay. I offer these questions to ponder:
What if you were both students?
What if you held the belief that you were both here to learn and serve each other in a way unique to the two (or more) of you? What would this perspective open in you?
Just a few thoughts to dance with.
As teachers, it is our job to remind students of their own divinity. And that starts with holding space for them. Imagine you’re in the presence of an angel, buddha, holy being, god or goddess (because you are.)
Honor what it is your student has come to teach you and openly receive the knowledge they bring you. We are in a cycle with each other, always. Student becomes teacher becomes student becomes teacher becomes master; and a master knows she will always be a student.
What Is Holding Space?
Holding Space for Others
Offering a person or group your full attention with compassionate presence and without agenda. You're just there, in full acceptance of who they are and what they're experiencing without trying to solve or save them.
Holding space also speaks to the energy and intention you are creating. If the intention here is to surrender and simply allow your students to “just be themselves,” you’re holding space in the energy of all that facilitates this experience: safety, love, acceptance, compassion, etc. You're communicating, nonverbally, with your energy, vibration, and intention. You’re holding this higher, softer, more loving vibration and welcoming them in.
Your mere intentional presence informs the group that this vibration is open and available to them whenever they are ready to receive it.
There is also a distinct and powerful trust that is present here. A trust that the student will enter this higher vibrational space when they are ready and on their own divine time.
“Compassion is the ability to see yourself in others, to see so deeply that otherness disappears, leaving only oneness — unconditional love — as the reality.”
This presence of unconditional love is known. The energy is always here — for all of us. The unconditional loving force of the Earth, the sun, moon, stars and god/dess source is here welcoming us home to ourselves in every moment without ever inserting an agenda or a timeline upon us.
Drop the pressure, drop the timeline and drop into the field of presence where everything is available to alignment and ease.
3 Powerful Ways to Hold Space
Be Yourself
It is not your job to know all things or be all things to all people. Your unique self and personalized energetic frequency is your gift. How you use this gift in the world is your art. Do not concern yourself with trying to “be” anything, but more with compassionately expressing the truest, most authentic version of yourself. Your enthusiasm is your magic and the most powerful magnet in the Universe.
Listen
What is of the highest service to both you and your student is to be an avid listener: to listen with your eyes, hands, and spirit. This way of listening will allow every moment in your life to become a classroom and for you to become master of the moment: listening to what your student is asking for and assisting with compassion in the direction of their highest good.
Speak From the Heart
When we hear someone share something difficult, our first instinct might be to try to reframe the situation or find a way to solve the problem. But, neither of these is the point of holding space! The point is to be there for that person, without judgment. If you feel tempted to respond, know that your words are powerful. Many times you are not aware of how deep of an impact you’re having on a student until much later or at all. Choose your words wisely, and speak from your heart.
Holding space is something that seems simple, but actually takes a lot of practice and involves self and aftercare for the person in the teacher’s seat. Keep this in mind as you offer this gift to yourself and others. To learn how to protect your energy while holding space for those who need it, check out my free resources page on energetic cleansing & rebalancing.
Holding Space for Yourself
Equally (if not more) important is the ability to give yourself the same grace that you give to others. This can look like setting boundaries, releasing old stories/patterns, implementing self care rituals, and more. Allowing yourself to simply BE where you are in your process without judgement is the foundation of holding space for others. Truly, we must be able to do it for ourselves first.
A few ways you can hold space for yourself:
Think carefully about whether or not something truly serves you before you say yes to it. In fact, try saying “no” some more!
Put yourself first; if you're not used to doing it, start in really small ways and work your way up
Turn the volume down on social media and turn up your intuition (see my free resources page on Inner Wisdom)
Plan a weekly journal/coffee date with yourself and your dreams
Write love letters to yourself
Unsubscribe from anything that isn't helping
I invite you to try a few of these suggestions and notice what comes up for you. If you feel called, drop a comment below and tell us about your experience!
Note: as a healer, my writing moves energy; simply reading this blog is healing. You are healing. And you, too, are a healer. Because it’s the same thing.
Sending you so much love,
LuLu